even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
