somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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