i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
how does that bad decision feel?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
