I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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