Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
