She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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