were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
