I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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