Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
