I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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