You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
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Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
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You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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