I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
