I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
