One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
