sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
