i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
