how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Who died my cat blue again?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
