i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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