The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
