in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
