your thong is hanging out like whoa
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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