How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
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