Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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