sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
