just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
