I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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