4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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