Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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