If that was your dad, he is hot
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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