id be glad to
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
