I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
