I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
