come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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