my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
