Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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