What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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