Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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