i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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