But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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