PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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