So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Rumble strips road head = magical
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
