why didn't you poke me back
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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