Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress. http://tfl.nu/szsa
  Replies (75) Good night (2319) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7 http://tfl.nu/idur
  Replies (153) Good night (1642) Bad night (4600)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup http://tfl.nu/bt9z
  Replies (9) Good night (1411) Bad night (4503)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text" http://tfl.nu/ij6d
  Replies (9) Good night (1728) Bad night (4596)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are. http://tfl.nu/bpgx
  Replies (15) Good night (3462) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face. http://tfl.nu/oog9
  Replies (8) Good night (791) Bad night (3714)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius http://tfl.nu/trod
  Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (1762)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  I smell like gasoline and adventure.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (779): I smell like gasoline and adventure. http://tfl.nu/rkdf
  Replies (18) Good night (2653) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (892): View more from

  YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Only one tier

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Tastes like cardboard anyway

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (892): YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?! (314): Only one tier (314): Tastes like cardboard anyway http://tfl.nu/1yl0
  Replies (1) Good night (1457) Bad night (1515)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs. http://tfl.nu/ixry
  Replies (3) Good night (1622) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle? http://tfl.nu/70g5
  Replies (7) Good night (1192) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful. http://tfl.nu/482k
  Replies (2) Good night (954) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick. http://tfl.nu/cd0z
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas http://tfl.nu/8d4j
  Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka. http://tfl.nu/ipbh
  Replies (4) Good night (203) Bad night (620)

Randomize