this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
