I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
honey bunches of taint.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
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Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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