My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts