I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night