So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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