You made me cry and you don't even care
I cockslap morals
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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