i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
