I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
