she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
