Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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