The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
