How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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