ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I am one with the molecules
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
