Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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