But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
