My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
