my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
