i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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