He is an equal opportunity slut.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
