So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
