just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
