dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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