I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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