ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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